Spilling the Tea: What’s a Tea Dance—and Why They Still Matter
If someone invited you to a “tea dance,” would you picture doilies, finger sandwiches, and antique cups and saucers? If so, you wouldn’t be alone. For many younger LGBTQ folks, tea dances can sound like a relic from another era, maybe even a little outdated. But here’s the thing: tea dances are basically the original daytime party, and they’ve been part of LGBTQ culture for well over 70 years.
Published January 27, 2025 • By The Dunes Resort
Before nightclubs, before Pride festivals, before queer spaces were even allowed to exist openly, tea dances were one of the only ways LGBTQ people could gather publicly and safely.
Photo from Saugatuck-Douglas History Center
A Short History Lesson
Tea dances became popular during the late 19th century as a social activity where high society gathered for afternoon dancing, conversation, and formal tea service. It wasn’t until the 1950s, specifically in New York, that the LGBTQ community began repurposing this tradition as a way to gather on their own terms.
Why? Because for much of the early and mid-20th century, it was illegal in New York City for bars to serve alcohol to people known to be gay. Police raids were common, and gathering openly came with real risk. So instead of meeting in city bars, gay men began organizing tea dances outside the city as a workaround.
That’s how places like Fire Island—especially Cherry Grove and the Pines—became central to tea dance culture. On Sunday afternoons, people would take the ferry out, spend the day dancing, talking, and meeting each other, and then head back in time to be ready for work on Monday morning.
Serving tea instead of alcohol wasn’t just a cute throwback detail. It made these gatherings more acceptable and less likely to attract attention from authorities. And holding them during daylight hours also meant less scrutiny. While these weren’t underground events, they weren’t loudly advertised either. If you knew, you knew.
As laws shifted and visibility increased, tea dances spread to cities like Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Provincetown, San Francisco, and Los Angeles from the 1970s through the 1990s, before eventually giving way to the nightclub scene.
Why Tea Dances Live On at the Dunes
At The Dunes, our Sunday Tea Dances are not just a nod to queer history but also a very real reminder that joy and pride should be experienced at all times of the day or night.
A relaxed, come-as-you-are affair, these events are perfect for those who might not love late nights out or the spectacle of packed dance floors, but still want connection, great music, and that unmistakable feeling of being part of a community. Here, you can dance if you want to, hang back if you don’t, and feel comfortable either way. And the best part is that when the afternoon winds down, you can still feel ready to tackle whatever Monday brings.
Before being out felt possible, tea dances created space for members of the LGBTQ+ community. And at The Dunes, it’s a tradition we’re proud to keep moving forward.
Tell Us Your Story
As we celebrate 45 years, we want to hear from the people who made The Dunes what it is. This year, we’re collecting the moments—big or small—that shaped your connection to this place. Maybe it was your first time walking into a gay bar, or where you had your first kiss, or met the love of your life. Maybe there’s a legendary performance you still talk about, or a night you never wanted to end, or the moment you realized you found “family” here.
If The Dunes has been part of your story, we’d love for you to share it. Whether it’s a few sentences or a short video, share your story by emailing info@dunesresort.com or sending us a DM on Instagram. We’d love to celebrate it with you and share on social. After all, this anniversary isn’t just about our history—it’s about yours, too.
